Processing things from long ago, before I ever knew Him...
Some things are painful. Some things I'd rather forget.
It's made me question, "Why, Lord? Why did those things occur? Where were You?"
In a time of prayer and worship this week, He answered me.
"Right there. I was right there. I knew you even then."
My response was embarrassment. "What? You were there? You KNOW? You saw?"
"Yes, I saw. I loved you then. And I love you now, KNOWING."
What I'm realizing is that our relationship didn't start in 1996, like I've always thought. This was when I came to know Him. But, He already knew me.
It may anger some, the fact that God will witness tragedy. He will witness abuse. He will witness injustice. But, I trust in Him. I know that people are people and people sin. This world isn't perfect. We have free will and sometimes that means that people are people and people sin.
I am comforted by the fact that He was near. Even in the midst of my sin. Even in the midst of the hurtful sins of others. He was near. He has always been near. He knows about all of my junk and He still loves me. He still pursues me. This amazes me.
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."