I Believe In Miracles

I really do. I see them happen everyday. When I respond in patience when I'm feeling impatient. When one of my children shares a toy in spite of human selfishness. I wake every morning excited to be married to the man next to me while divorce and infidelity happen all around us.

Our son Caleb was hospitalized a couple of weeks ago. He was having all the symptoms of asthma. He's never struggled with asthma before, but he does have allergies and I have allergy-induced asthma. So, I guess, none of us were overly shocked by his symptoms. We were, however, surprised by the severity of this sudden attack.

I was on the verge of tears the whole time he was in the hospital. It was emotional to see my son struggle to breathe. It was hard to see him with an oxygen tube in his nose. The hardest part was hearing about his 'asthma care plan' and realizing he may struggle with asthma the rest of his life.

He was discharged from the hospital after 2 nights with several inhalers, prescriptions and instructions for his school nurse and teachers.

Two days after we came home, Caleb participated in a worship night at church. We were so proud of him and thankful to be out of the hospital!

(warning: obnoxious mom-scream at the end!)

That next week was full of doctors visits, talks with the nurse and charting his oxygen levels. This was not something we wanted, or felt comfortable with. I kept hoping it would just go away.

That next weekend, I went to Women of Faith in Denver with some friends from church. I was feeling really run down, emotionally exhausted and on the verge of a cold. My throat had been hurting for days and I considered staying home. A good friend encouraged me to go, for many reasons. One reason being rest.

On the second day of the conference, the worship team was singing "Healer". I could barely sing through my emotions. I felt very clearly that I was to ask God for healing. Healing for my sore throat and healing for Caleb's asthma.

Sometimes I struggle with asking God for things. I would way rather just be thankful and enjoy all the things He's already given. I don't ever want to forget what He's rescued me from or lose perspective of how blessed I really am. Why should I ask for more?

But here I was, knowing that He was gently prodding me to ask. So, I did.

The request for my sore throat came easily. It's just a sore throat. It could easily go away on it's own. If God chose not to heal my sore throat, it wouldn't be THAT big of a deal. I felt I could pray this prayer easily and hold the hope of a miracle loosely.

The prayer for Caleb was much harder. What if I prayed and he wasn't healed? Would I have to struggle with questions and doubt in God's power to heal? Do I REALLY believe He has the power to heal? Do I REALLY believe He cares enough about things like asthma when there are so many other, worse, diseases and problems in this fallen world?

I spoke the words. I wish I could tell you I spoke them with confidence and strong faith. But, I am human and imperfect. I spoke them audibly through trembling hands and unsure heart. I want Caleb's healing so desperately and I am so thankful for a God who knows this. Who knows me. And loves me and is faithful in the midst of my weakness.

That night as all the ladies were dispersing to their own cars, a friend asked if I was scheduled for the worship team the next morning. I told her yes...and then realized my throat wasn't hurting anymore! I started crying and explained to her that I had asked for God to heal my throat. We prayed together and thanked God for my healing. However, I didn't tell her about part two of my prayer.

I told Brad that night about the prayer I prayed. He had been praying this prayer for a week already and told me he had confidence that God would touch Caleb's body. He followed by telling me Caleb hadn't had any asthma symptoms all weekend. I still had my doubts and we agreed we should continue on the doctor's orders until his follow up visit.

He had his visit a week ago and was cleared for all activity and taken off of all his meds. It has been two weeks now since he's had any problems breathing.

I have absolute confidence that God healed him!!

God does miracles! Today! In me, in our family...in you!

As I reflect on this experience, I know that God was challenging me. Challenging me in my faith. Challenging me in my trust in Him. Do I really believe He is Who He says He is? Do I really believe He'll do what He says He'll do?

I know that many times we ask for a miracle and we may not see the evidence of His answer. I know that not everyone gets healed. But are we willing to go on the journey? Are we willing to put our prayers out there and trust God with the outcome, whether or not it's our desired one? God is more interested in the condition of our heart than in the healing. We are to approach Him with confidence and faith.

What are you asking for today?