Dreams DO Come True

I've been a Christ-follower for just over 15 years now. One of the dreams He placed deep in my heart early on in our relationship was a desire to go to Africa. I went on several missions trips during the first 5 years or so of being a Christian, none of them being Africa.

Then, I got married. And had babies. Lots of babies *wink*

We have 2 sponsored children from Africa. My heart breaks for them. I love them, even though I've never physically met them. I will one day, though.

In the busy-ness of life my desire to go on missions trips, specifically Africa, has been buried deep in my heart. So deep, at times, that I wondered if it was still there.

At the beginning of this year, Brad and I took some time to reflect on our current season and God's goals for us.

My direction was clear: no more Laurel Haven Interiors (the furniture refinishing business I began last year), no more Bible studies. Specifically, He said no new commitment to anything on-going.

I felt this was for two reasons: First, I need to focus on my children and be available for them. Brad has more opportunities to travel than ever before and I need to be a constant for them. Second, there would be spontaneous opportunities for ministry that I needed to be available for.

A month or so ago, I became overwhelmed. We were in the midst of The Thorn, our Easter production. It seemed all I was accomplishing was a lot of driving kids around, picking up after everyone, washing clothes, cleaning out yucky lunch boxes from take-and-go dinners, running errands for my very busy kids and overly busy husband. I felt I was becoming an invisible, behind the scenes, under-appreciated enabler of my family.

That should be ok. And it is, 90% of the time. But every now and then I get frustrated and unsettled. I found myself asking, "Is this who I am now?"

Not to downplay the roles of wife and mother. I know they are a high calling. But I know that there is more in me. I know I have more to give.

On a rare evening at home, I vented to Brad. There I was, crying over dishes in the sink. "It's not always easy to be Mrs. Brad Parsley!"

My poor, sweet husband. He wanted so badly to fix it and make me feel better. But he couldn't. This was an issue of my heart. I know I'm being obedient by doing these things. And NOT doing other things. But even in my obedience, I was needing validation.

"Well, what is it you want to be doing? You don't even know what you want to do..." He was right.

I began to question God, "Is there anything left in me? Do I have anything to give anymore? Anything besides changing diapers and doing laundry?"

Over the next 24 hours, God and I had an ongoing conversation. Sometimes He is so tangible, His voice almost audible. "You have missions in your heart. You have orphans in your heart. Those things aren't Brad's things. Those things are ME in you."

I felt at peace. Ok. I can wait. I can be patient and wait 5, 10, 20 years. As long as I know those promises are in there, I will wait.

I told Brad that night that I had come full circle (He knows I always do...He is so patient with me).

Then, this last week, Brad called me. "It looks like one of the girls isn't able to go on the (New Life School of Worship) trip to Uganda. Do you want to go?"

Um. What??

So I listened to the Lord's instructions. I was obedient and trusting. And now, I am going to AFRICA to work with ORPHANS in one month!!

It couldn't be more perfect. The trip is all planned, ready to go. All I had to do was say yes.

*Let me note that we took a couple of days and talked through and prayed about it. It's a 2 week trip. That's an eternity to a stay at home mom of 5 kids!!*

I know the Lord is pleased. I bet He was just giddy over His surprise for me. It's like when I'm planning a surprise for one of my kids, but they start to question my plans. I say "Just trust me, I know what's best," knowing that they are going to be soo excited and pleased at my surprise. He is a great Father and He loves to surprise us, too!

If I had a bunch of furniture projects lined up, or some ongoing commitments to tend to, this trip would have been harder to accept. As things are, I can just say "YES!!"

I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!!!

Hope

"God must bring us to a point--I cannot tell you how it will be, but he will do it--where, through a deep and dark experience, our natural power is touched and fundamentally weakened, so that we no longer dare trust ourselves. He has had to deal with some of us very strangely, and take us through difficult and painful ways, in order to get us there....But then at last is is that he can begin to use us...
We would like to have death and resurrection put together within one hour of each other. We cannot face the thought that God will keep us aside for so long a time; we cannot bear to wait. And of course I cannot tell you how long he will take, but in principle I think it is quite safe to say this, that there will be a definite period when he will keep you there...All is in darkness, but it is only for a night. It must indeed be a full night, but that is all. Afterwards you will find that everything is given back to you in glorious resurrection; and nothing can measure the difference between what was before and what now is!"

Watchman Nee (China)

taken from 'Devotions for Lent'

from the Mosaic Holy Bible

I feel it's easy to get caught up in the "blessings" side of Christianity. We assume that if we are in God's will, if we are being obedient, that life will be all smiles and happiness. But it's important to remember that He has begun a good work in us (Phil 1:6) and He wouldn't be a good Father if He didn't work to complete it in us.

It is the surrendering to the troubles that is so hard for me. I want to fight them and conquer them. Like the author said, I want them to be over immediately.

I find myself comparing my troubles to the troubles of other people. "I shouldn't be so upset over this. There are people going through things way worse than me." But, this isn't the point.

God can use the small troubles to form and shape us just as He can use the large ones.

It's these small troubles that can catch us off guard, to just wobble our walk a bit. After enough wobbling, we will fall over if our feet aren't planted firm.

It's my desire to embrace the hardship. Even REJOICE in it so that I can grow in maturity and wisdom (James 1:2-4). Instead of praying for the hard times to pass, pray for God to teach me and grow me through these things.

He is GOOD. His plans are GOOD. He is FOR us (Rom 8:31)...








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Opinions, Please!

I have been talking about glazing my kitchen cabinets for several months now.

To read about my reasons and my vision for them, go here.

This week I took the leap. I used some walnut stain that I already had in the garage and did an over all coat. Then, I wiped it all off, resulting in a slight difference in the overall color and a stronger contrast in the grain of the wood.

Then, I custom mixed some glaze using my Valspar Mocha glaze mixed with some of the dark stain. I used this on the insets.

B came home at lunch time and witnessed my progress.

Now, let me tell you something about my husband. He is so gracious and allows me to paint walls when I want...and then repaint them when I change my mind. He hangs pictures for me...and then rehangs them when I find something new. He helps me rearrange the kids bedrooms. Again. And again. And again. (one of these times we'll hit it right and all the kids will be settled *wink*)

All this to say, he tells me his opinion, but really he wants me to do what I want. He's made his peace with it changing with my mood and our season of life. (we used to have lots of really bold colors on the walls, which I felt was inspiring. Now, we're going for more peace and tranquility in our home, so the walls are changing to calmer, muted tones)

Okay, back to the cabinets. He likes the look I'm going for. He can even envision what it will look like with new hardware and different floors and counter tops...because *we will* have new floors and maybe new counter tops one day!

But his first impression is that they look a little, um, "old school" aka DATED. Yea, NOT the look I'm going for. He is a bit concerned that my glazing is turning the yellowish oak cabinets into 80's style dark oak cabinets.

We're in the process of painting the kitchen walls, which is partly why I wanted to darken the cabinets. The walls are becoming "whole wheat" color instead of the dark, rusty color. I needed some contrast and I don't at all like the whole wheat color next to the yellowy cabinets.

I know I'm rambling before I get to the pics, but you have to understand the VISION before you judge. You can go there with me, right? So, envision some oil-rubbed and/or rustic hardware, and let me know what you think...

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{top in original color, bottom after glazing}

...and please ignore my messy counter tops...

What do you think? Should I keep going?

Swimming...Against the Current

I've been absent on purpose.

This life we live...we, meaning the ones in my home and we, the bloggers, facebookers, twitterers, Moms, friends...it can get so hurried. So pressured. So fast.

So I made a decision to sloooow. To quiet. To allow for breathing. For smiling. For joy.

The pressure to keep up can become so great that we forget to look up. To notice the ones around us. The beauty around us.

This is where I found myself, anyway.

So I have quieted. And now I can sense His prompting "It's okay. Tiptoe."

So I am tiptoe-ing. Quietly. And slowly.

The process and WORK that He has been doing in me has been...thick. Does that make sense? Without ceasing, I push through the waist-high-mud, longing for the shore. Longing for a break from the labor.

But through all of this, this work, this labor...I know He is GOOD. The work He is doing in me is GOOD. Even when I don't see any fruit from my labor...when it feels like it's all done in secret and please oh please let me know that I am on the right path...He is GOOD.

He sees me. He is for me.

I could run and choose an easier way.

Or I can lean into it. I can ask for more. More wisdom. More strength. More of Him and what He has for me.

And this is what I am choosing. I am leaning and pressing and asking...

And for those of you that are moms, or even if you just find yourself rushed and hurried, you can go here for some extra encouragement. This post helped to breathe life and purpose to the journey I've found myself on...

Catching Up & A Fun New Thing

Hello! It's been a while!

I am not going to waste your time by explaining all of my excuses for my lack of bloginess. Let's just say life is busy and I'm trying to be a good manager of my time and a good wife and Mommy... aka I'm a bad blogger.

Life is running fast these days, but if you're genuinely interested in what's going on around the Parsley household (because we are just THAT interesting *wink*), make sure you're following me on twitter and/or facebook. That seems much easier for me these days!

I did want to share a fun/useful/easy thing we're trying out. It's an online "job chart" for the kids. I went on and created accounts for each of them. Then I assigned various jobs--for us, this includes everything from brushing teeth to doing laundry to reading scripture to practicing basketball.

The kids are able to log on and view their jobs, check them off and earn points. They can then redeem their points for rewards that I have allowed. They range from baking cookies to lego sets and American girl dolls (you do have to pay for the tangible rewards, so the expensive rewards are worth a lot of points).

It seems to be working well for us. They don't always get their jobs done, and I still have to check and make sure some jobs are done to my standard. But, overall it is way less work than anything I've tried before. I like that it doesn't rely on me to write out or print out charts every week. It's on there and I can change it any time I want. Less time for me and more responsibility and fun for the kids. It's a win-win.

If you decide to try it out, be sure to come back and let me know if it's working for you!!

In the meantime, I'll see you on twitter or facebook or here when I make it back...

And just because he's so cute and makes my life so interesting...

Can I? Should I?

You know that giddy, excited feeling you get in your tummy? I have that right now. Because I just saw this...

I am so done with our carpet (I almost typed "crapet"...hmmmm. That might describe it better). It has kid stains and sticky gooey spots. It has animal stains from days gone by. It has some new, pink candle wax stains. It's a dingy gray compared to the lighter beige it's supposed to be.

The issue is that it's a rather large space, our main living areas. So, new flooring would be a pretty chunk of change.

The carpet runs into the kitchen. The flooring in there is a whole other issue...linoleum. Ripping and pulling up.

So, what if we did it? What if we ripped it all up and just painted the subflooring? Aaaaahhhh. How about a dark, espresso?

What do you think, Honey????

Because I haven't in a while...

blogged, that is.

It's not that I don't have anything to say. It's more that as soon as I think I want to say it, something else comes up.

Like the stomach virus that's going through our house right now.

Or the extra-curricular activities that seem to have overtaken my life, my schedule, my sanity. I said that I would never overbook us. I don't think we're overbooked, but somehow we've ended up with all 5 kids in activities. It wasn't intentional, and it won't last forever, but it sure is taking up a lot of my time and energy!

At the beginning of this year, Brad and I set aside a week to pray through our goals for the year. I left that week feeling like I should focus my time and energy on our family. Not that this is unusual for me, but I feel the Lord is asking for more. More focused prayer time for my husband and my children. More time at home, focused on the things of home. Less time away, focusing on other things (which are good things, just not for me. Right now)

I settled in to this challenge.

Then this past week, my "settling" felt challenged. It seems there is one need after another...right here in my own home. I think most of these needs are always here, but could it be that I'm more sensitive to them? They seem to be screaming at me. The needs, not my children. Ok, my children sometimes. But mostly the needs.

One needs more individual attention. One needs help dealing with friends. One needs help with eating a complete meal. One needs to sleep past 4:30 in the morning (already!!). They all need more of me.

It can be draining. And frustrating. It can make me feel helpless. And like "what ever made me think I could do this?"

So, I wake up early. I turn on the fire and make a pot of coffee. I read. I pray (I put said child back to bed). And I pray more. Then as they wake, I put on my brave face and a smile. I thank Him for these 5 precious blessings. And head into another day...